Is it normal to cry for a psychologist during a session with a client?

Some consider this a useful manifestation of empathy, others claim that this can harm. What do you think and why?

What do you think?

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11 Comments

  1. I went through psychotherapy with a very cool psychologist who was felt when I told the situation from my childhood. It surprised me because I have never met such sympathy. This helped me trust. I considered it, if she was crying, then the psychologist understood me, imbued with my inner world. Then I felt safe, and realized that this specialist would not injure me with the depreciation of my feelings and my story, would not say that I myself was to blame. The psychologist explained why she was sympathetic. And she thereby showed me that there is nothing wrong with being sincere in her feelings. She showed me a new experience. Perhaps if it weren’t for this tear of my therapat, my therapy went on a different path, and not the fact that it ended quickly. Cry or not? In my opinion, it depends on the context and methods of a specialist. He is in contact with the client and decide – whether it is appropriate or not.

  2. Tears are a manifestation of feelings. Is there a psychologist to show feelings during a session with a client? Anger, joy, hope, shame, confusion? .. Depends on the direction. In the KPT, it seems, this is not specifically provided for specially. That is, the main thing is that the work does not interfere, but in general we are not sitting about it here. And in the gestalt approach, transactional analysis, existential therapy, etc. To experience feelings and show feelings is simply sewn into the base, the very base of approaches. And affection is an oral thing that this is precisely therapeutic relationship. Therefore, it is good when the therapist, including empathic, is aware of how, when, when, in what form and from what internal logic to present them, to show them, to show them. Or do not show. Friendly words, everything (within the boundaries of the contract and professional ethics), if you understand why.

  3. Tears are a manifestation of feelings. Is there a psychologist to show feelings during a session with a client? Anger, joy, hope, shame, confusion? .. Depends on the direction. In the KPT, it seems, this is not specifically provided for specially. That is, the main thing is that the work does not interfere, but in general we are not sitting about it here. And in the gestalt approach, transactional analysis, existential therapy, etc. To experience feelings and show feelings is simply sewn into the base, the very base of approaches. And affection is an oral thing that this is precisely therapeutic relationship. Therefore, it is good when the therapist, including empathic, is aware of how, when, when, in what form and from what internal logic to present them, to show them, to show them. Or do not show. Friendly words, everything (within the boundaries of the contract and professional ethics), if you understand why.

  4. My answer: no, crying during a session with a client a psychologist is unprofessional and unsafe as a client and a specialist himself. Justified why I think so. Tears are a manifestation of feelings, which, in principle, is normal, because the psychologist is a living person and can emotionally respond to a client case. However, the psychologist during the session should be in a professional position, lead and support the client, which means to be in the resource adult ego-state, to contain (accept) feelings of the client, and not vice versa. When the psychologist cries at the session, this indicates that this indicates that That the situation of the client trigger – caused mental pain, touched her own uninhabited injury, or empathy so swept that a merger with a client occurred, which is unacceptable in therapeutic relations. For effective interaction, there should be a separation “I am I, you are you.” Whatever pain the client brought us, we should not perceive it as our own. The client has his own fate, the psychologist has his own. The worked out professional knows this. When there is an emotional reaction that causes tears, this is the basis that the psychologist pass the supervision to work with this client, and, if necessary, personal therapy, to work out his traumatic experience. If you continue to work with the client, emotionally acutely reacting to him, therapy can harm the psychologist himself- a high risk of emotional burnout. And also this is not easy to a client who will have to contain the feelings of a psychologist at his own expense, which is unacceptable! Getting the necessary support from a specialist in this case is a very dubious prospect. To respond professionally at sessions with customers and not to burn out, psychologists undergo training personal therapy in an amount of at least 50 hours + supervision of 50 hours. Now it becomes a requirement of a professional community and at official employment. Only an accredited training personal therapist (OLT) and the pPL supervisor can confirm the clock. Dear colleagues! Take care of your burnout! By the way, I am now undergoing training and prepare for accreditation for a student’s personal PPP therapist – psychologists will be able to pass OLT with a clock confirmation.

  5. A psychologist, as an ordinary person, can cry when he wants and where he wants. However, this behavior shows that this specialist experiences the pain of the client as his own. It can be either from the fact that he himself has not worked out a similar problem for himself. For the fact that, instead of an adult view of the problem from the side and assistance to the client, his inner child joined the suffering of the client. As you understand, both of these reasons indicate an unprofessional approach of a specialist. And the effectiveness of such a work will be very, very weak. If this happens, then he should either convey his ward to another psychologist, or pass the personal therapy of this topic himself.

  6. Right like that – cry? How long and with what force? You can cry at the funeral. But at the session? The client has not died yet. And the psychologist did not know the dead client loved ones. What is the point of crying? The psychologist meets the client at the session not in order to fall into the mood of the client and dissolve in it. But this does not mean that the psychologist should sit with a stone face, observing professionalism, and listen to his client with an indifferent look. Still, communication involves at least some emotional contact. Therefore, the response to the feelings and emotions of the client. Therefore, it is quite professionally and humanly to allow sympathy and condolences to express himself in the mean male and female, too, a tear. But do not cry, and, moreover, do not sob.

  7. Is it normal, the surgeon operating the complex client to start crying during the operation? How would you relate to the fact that this would be your operating doctor? I believe that the psychologist can show sympathy for the client’s problems, but if the psychologist cries, he certainly does not help the client, but uses this situation to react something of his own, personal. Steam, it seems to me something from the category of kitchen psychology and is quite often present in a simplified understanding of the so-called Empathy. If the psychologist, regularly or not very, joins the client so much that it becomes part of his space, then here comes into action, the problem of the emotional overheating of the specialist. For a long time with this approach to work cannot be held out. Therefore, if the specialist begins to sob, or he sees his work so initially, then he should find a good supervisor and understand his situation. Plus, such a reaction of a specialist can mark for the client that his problem is extremely difficult – “even the psychologist sobbed listening to me.” I do not think that it benefits the process.

  8. Hello. I support the statement of colleagues higher that empathy is an important quality in the personality of a psychologist. There is no need to talk about a useful or harmful manifestation of empathy, since there are no such definitions. The psychologist can cry during the session, thereby expressing not only his feelings, but also strengthen the expression of the client’s feelings. Sometimes it happens that the client cannot cry in difficult experiences and tears of a psychologist may be therapeutic for the client. The relevance of the psychologist’s crying on the session with the client depends on the confidential therapeutic contact. In addition to the relevance, frequency is important (how often often), the purpose of the manifestation of these feelings and the personal elaboration of the psychologist. On my opinion, it is like with a self -disclosure of a psychologist, a thin line. And better, for therapeutic purposes, do not cry a psychologist)

  9. It’s normal if the tears are about the client, and not “about therapist”. The therapy is a living person who is professionally trained to deal with emotions, to be in contact with feelings and experiences, and helps customers with this. Including – professionally trained to spread his and client, and not “load” in the client what does not apply to him/her. Therefore, the tears of the therapist themselves cannot harm the client by themselves; On the contrary, for some customers, experience becomes a revelation, when they are empathized, they see them in their “twilight” and openly show their feelings. The “confusing” motives and intentions are usually harmful when the therapist fell into something of his own and pours it “his own” on the client. But this applies to all emotions and reactions, not only to tears.

  10. I am not a professional psychologist, but as a lawyer, involuntarily began to understand people. Sorry for the analogy, but during the waist, someone should be sober, the old rule so as not to fly to Leningrad. So probably the psychologist, who turned to for help, should feel that there is one who soberly evaluates the situation nearby. He empathizes, but really perceives reality. And if both begin to sob, what will it happen? I read one answer here, writes a professional psychologist: a psychologist has the right to cry where he wants and when he wants. Yes! But is this, professionalism? That’s right! And if people with drugs come to me, I can score a jamb with them? I believe that it is impossible to give a reason to identify yourself with the client and his experiences. Do not throw tomatoes at me too actively, I expressed only my opinion!

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