How to stop taking consumerly?

It seems I do not like myself. I constantly demand something from myself, my psychologist says that I do not give myself a rest, I am exploiting. I feel like I have the belief that otherwise I can’t survive. I think that I am replacing a lot. I have an automatic unconscious attitude that I have to make everyone comfortable, I want to be a good girl too much, as if I have to make everyone around is comfortable, though about myself, in terms of comfort, I think last. How to afford a luxury to stop engaging in self -eating? How to be less afraid to be uncomfortable? How where should it be – “show your teeth” and defend the boundaries? I do all this, it’s hard to do it and it turns out not always and not at once, I hold a lot and endure a lot, realizing that you should not do that. How to learn this – “tenderly”?

What do you think?

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9 Comments

  1. Hello. In the text you wrote “My Psychologist.” In a commentary on another answer that you go to a psychologist. Nice do not just go to a psychologist, but work on yourself. And let the psychologist direct you in this work, support and accompany you. In general, I wonder, how did your psychologist answer your question?

  2. Hello. You have come to the right awareness with a psychologist. Continue in this direction. Mark the exactingness and operation not only in relation to yourself, but also in relation to a close environment (it will be especially indicative in long -term therapeutic relations with a psychologist). It can be assumed that you have a high level of anxiety and control. Something like this: “Better I will be a good and comfortable girl than they will condemn me and will not recognize.” True you write – otherwise not to survive. Perhaps the desire to do it comfortably for others is what is amenable to your control, you then control the opinions of others about yourself. After such a race in providing the comfort of others, you have no strength left for yourself, the focus of attention is shifted from you to the external. How to learn this is “gently” to yourself? Gradually, in personal psychotherapy with a psychologist, working with the pierced material and your awareness. The described your difficulties is an example of your relationship with parents or with significant people from childhood. It is necessary to cultivate the internal images of caring parents for yourself. I don’t know if this answer will help you, but I have no opportunity to comment on your work with a psychologist in more detail.

  3. Hello. You have come to the right awareness with a psychologist. Continue in this direction. Mark the exactingness and operation not only in relation to yourself, but also in relation to a close environment (it will be especially indicative in long -term therapeutic relations with a psychologist). It can be assumed that you have a high level of anxiety and control. Something like this: “Better I will be a good and comfortable girl than they will condemn me and will not recognize.” True you write – otherwise not to survive. Perhaps the desire to do it comfortably for others is what is amenable to your control, you then control the opinions of others about yourself. After such a race in providing the comfort of others, you have no strength left for yourself, the focus of attention is shifted from you to the external. How to learn this is “gently” to yourself? Gradually, in personal psychotherapy with a psychologist, working with the pierced material and your awareness. The described your difficulties is an example of your relationship with parents or with significant people from childhood. It is necessary to cultivate the internal images of caring parents for yourself. I don’t know if this answer will help you, but I have no opportunity to comment on your work with a psychologist in more detail.

  4. I would go through the subconscious, and not through logic. When there is such a deep, fused belief that is responsible for your safety (and this is a reptile brain, not neocortex), other methods of work are needed, and not just awareness. For example, regression in a children’s situation where you learned it. This is just an example, I don’t know the details of your case. Come, we’ll figure it out

  5. Such complexes can only be picked up from your favorite mommy. (Perhaps mom also suffers from such complexes) Yes. These complexes grow out of your beliefs and not self -love. A person has his own reality, which is formed on the basis of the beliefs of a particular individual. You have this reality so far. The same thing that parents broadcast to you once received your family and passed them from generation to generation. Yes, they contributed to the survival of the genus. It is thanks to them that you were born and now live. Thank them for this opportunity. But now the situation has changed and they no longer serve you, therefore, you need to get rid of them. My opinion is that each person carries a piece of God, which forms our reality in line with our beliefs. Again. You carry your personal God in yourself. By belittling your personality, trying to please everyone, forgetting to yourself you insult God. This will not end without consequences and it is good that you turned to a psychologist. Now about your statement that everything is fine with men. Yes. I willingly believe. While you behave in this way, men like it. What will happen after you recognize the uniqueness and value of your personality is not yet clear. “If you have become bad in the eyes of others, then you have done a lot of good earlier.”

  6. There is a good advice from the main psychologist: “Do not give the shrines to the dogs and do not throw your pearls in front of bad people.” A good girl should be for a loved one, and it is better to be careful with other people – not everyone should show the beads of their souls. It’s enough simply not to do/not to tell them anything bad – if the conscience is clean, then you don’t need to be afraid of anything (but troubles can still not be avoided).

  7. And I would have stopped going to a psychologist, made more friends, read books and gained experience. I would learn to listen and observe. By the way, I don’t like myself either. Not happy with myself in many ways. I accept criticism normally, sometimes I think about it, but I decide everything myself and draw conclusions. I do not like to be like everyone else. You know, but I respect myself and will not allow me to offend. I sometimes also do self -analysis, I will close from the outside world for a couple of days, I will eat my brain, but we come with it to an agreement and go to a strange, frantic world to delight ourselves and others.

  8. You can stop engaging in self -eaters when you stop anti -way a healthy lifestyle that knows your subconscious and leads you on it, the swamp of comfort in which society and your environment pulls you. It is more interested in quarrel and divide your parts more than you wish. Therapist has the remarks of a person who accepted the attitudes of society, not the body. He expresses the right things, but expresses them as if he is accustomed to be a consumer (already) otherwise applied them. A more correct concept instead of “exploitation” and did not scare you with “survival” have you seen a therapist who has a deep subconscious fear? Look. survive. And this should be taken into account before drawing a conclusion. For me, it was a revolutionary discovery that the body knows how better. You need to learn how to understand it correctly. And in order to correctly understand it, you need to sometimes discard the path that is generally accepted in society. I would say that you are on the contrary, you love yourself very much, therefore you are struggling with society to be yourself (while you are fighting). The only thing you would pay attention to: you do it unconsciously. But at the same time, you do it and this helps to maintain your internal balance to some extent. And in addition, it saves from the use of low -level techniques that would even make you more likely to visit the doctors and not only the therapist in the future. What about how you explain it to yourself and what you are striving with this, of course, you do not have order. Think at least about how much “to be a good girl” has become bad? You should … Once when you go to look at the world more wider, you will understand that it is. But for this you still need to go through many km (years). Your subconscious mind takes care of you, unlike your consciousness and his desires, taken from what you see around. Instead of being in unity with the world, it wants to hide from it to separate. Instead of finding out that there is love, you want to get into luxury. Is it really your personal desire to “become a bird in the golden cage”? I hope that you are not yet so much a controlled shell. Health to you and your subconscious.

  9. Expensive! I don’t know who these wonderful people who put this hellish crap in your head, but you believe in it holy and afraid to break. It’s time, it’s time to take care of yourself, go to a psychologist, listen to lectures, work on it, shoot these stupid attitudes. Because now you are frightened to death. And frightened women pull a certain type of man to themselves. Start changing and you will understand how everything around will begin to change. Good luck, patience and perseverance. Let everything work out

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