How to stop being shy about your family and living standards?

The fact is that I met a guy. He has a long -standing family, a large beautiful house, a good car, he is always well dressed. It seems that I also have a good family, but the house is more modest (good repairs, but not as cool as it), we have 2 cars but they are simpler (mom in the area of ​​200 tons and dad has 400t. rubles), I’m also not bad I’m dressing, I have a good phone, we live in general well. But with one thought that I will ever need to bring him home uncomfortable. The feeling as if everything was not very good at all and I seem to be shy, although I live well compared to my classmates. + I’m afraid that my relatives might seem to be any wrong. I’m afraid of condemnation from the guy, although I am sure that this will not happen. How to get rid of this feeling?

What do you think?

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11 Comments

  1. Hello, a girl. What, you just met a guy, you like him and you have interest in him. Today, your home is a parental house and your family is your parental family. I think you should at this stage show respect for yourself And your family. Discuss your question with your mother and feel free to invite the guy to visit. You have a worthy family and you behave with dignity. And the reaction to your parents and family prosperity of the guy will reflect his attitude towards you. And then, it will be visible!

  2. You won’t stop in any way until you yourself begin to provide yourself and understand the real value of the money you have earned personally and what it will have to be spent on. You have no reason for constraints – everything that surrounds you, and the level at which you live is organized by your parents, there are no merits in this. If that guy also lives at the expense of parents, then you are “measured” not with your own achievements, but how your parents are organized, that you are illogical, because you are not meeting with your parents, but like it, like a close analogy: here are your grades /School points are your “salary”. How would you react to if you found out that your parents – or suddenly the same guy, are inhabited by your level, because You obviously do not get on these points to some Masha Vasilkov, a round excellent student and winner of all Olympiads; It seems that you study well, but not a star star. And imagine that here the guy takes your diary with grades, looks like this with condemnation, and says, they say that it will meet you only if you pull all the items on the five and at least the third place in the district Olympiad in geometry. How would you live with such a discovery that your value depends on some kind of tsifs, the results of the control, and the ratings of the students, and not on what you are in yourself, is it nice to be with you, what is interesting for you, and What can you say/ make creative and unique (for which, probably your parents really love you and real friends are friends). If the theme of “different levels” does not release after you start to provide yourself, then these are some deep installations; But you can understand only when you organize your level yourself, one that you will not be shy.

  3. You won’t stop in any way until you yourself begin to provide yourself and understand the real value of the money you have earned personally and what it will have to be spent on. You have no reason for constraints – everything that surrounds you, and the level at which you live is organized by your parents, there are no merits in this. If that guy also lives at the expense of parents, then you are “measured” not with your own achievements, but how your parents are organized, that you are illogical, because you are not meeting with your parents, but like it, like a close analogy: here are your grades /School points are your “salary”. How would you react to if you found out that your parents – or suddenly the same guy, are inhabited by your level, because You obviously do not get on these points to some Masha Vasilkov, a round excellent student and winner of all Olympiads; It seems that you study well, but not a star star. And imagine that here the guy takes your diary with grades, looks like this with condemnation, and says, they say that it will meet you only if you pull all the items on the five and at least the third place in the district Olympiad in geometry. How would you live with such a discovery that your value depends on some kind of tsifs, the results of the control, and the ratings of the students, and not on what you are in yourself, is it nice to be with you, what is interesting for you, and What can you say/ make creative and unique (for which, probably your parents really love you and real friends are friends). If the theme of “different levels” does not release after you start to provide yourself, then these are some deep installations; But you can understand only when you organize your level yourself, one that you will not be shy.

  4. It is natural to feel awkward when we compare ourselves with others, but it is important to remember that everyone has different circumstances and be proud of what you have is normal. Remind yourself that everyone has their own unique problems, strengths and weaknesses, and it is normal to be kind and understanding with themselves, and not to condemn or criticize yourself. Contract on what you have, and not on what you have You are not. Remember that material values ​​do not determine a person. Horacter and human values ​​are much more important than his property or size of the house. Focus on the qualities that are most important to you in a person, and not on superficial things, such as material wealth. Turn out to accept your circumstances and remind yourself that you are worthy and deserve love and respect, no matter what.

  5. You just don’t know how to love. If you love those who have grown you, pity and help them – you cannot be ashamed of them – they are the closest and the best in this world, and the boys can be different – today he loves you, and tomorrow will find the girl more beautiful and smarter and abandon you . And here mom and dad will never abandon you – they fed you, nailed you (you will understand this when you give birth yourself) and they, and only you owe them everything in your life. They need to be proud and love them because they are your support and hope in the future life (and you are shy). On the contrary, tell your friend – what wonderful parents you have – what are responsible and hardworking and how much you love them and value them – believe me, he will like it and he will look at them with your eyes.

  6. This is not constraint, but inner doubt in the future of such relations. Money for money is drawn – hardly his parents did not store him equal in status bride. These are girls from ‘high society’, it happens that they get married outside their circle. And this somehow does not work with the guys. Therefore, there is only a fairy tale about Cinderella.

  7. This is because your family is a typical middle class. You are sure that your two cars, repairs and “prosperity, more than others” are your distinctive feature. You are afraid of this feature, because if you see the level above yours, you will become part of that society that seems to you inferior to you. This is not shame, this is a breakdown. You are simply dependent on the idea of ​​a “wealthy family.” I did not see a word here either about you or the guy – only “as if the future mother -in -law and the mother -in -law did not disperse on the topic Denyes and the attached “learn to recognize the poor and rich in equal to yourself. All, even a bum-maniac-pedophile-narcoman-people. When you can sincerely admit that people are people-the question will disappear. In the end, this is a pancake your boyfriend or you have a dynastic Marriage, EPRST?! Well, it’s scary, well, your mother will call your “bazaar hubalka.” You’re, with your boyfriend, what does Capuletti, Yok Makarsk? As a medicine: work as a saleswoman or a promoter or in the delivery of food. At least a volunteer. This will allow you to see more people, and in am it is necessary, be sure.

  8. Yesterday I was intensely picking in one very unpleasant topic, which is very common in our time and actively affects very many relationships. This topic is mercantile. Forgive my straightforwardness, you have many symptoms of origin and stay in the space of this infection. Yes, this crap affects both your constraint and your attitude. You do not evaluate the essence of the guy himself, you assess the difference in financial membranes .. And this says a lot, in terms of the meaning of “why you are these relations.” Not that you can officially explain this to yourself, but that you are moving from the inside. Therefore, you feel a conflict. But it is doubtful that this conflict is associated with the difference in financial security, as you explain it, the reason is deeper. You are struggling with the superstructure of the world around you: by mercantile, self -assertion of self -affirmation, the desire to be significant that you have not yet developed, but have a desire for development under proper circumstances. While the guy is not valuable to you. Because this was not even sounded in your description, but you are valuable for its baggage and baggage of his family, this is clearly visible. To set the vector of relations in internal fear … is not very reasonable. As well as cover it in this way. One day it will appear so that you will not like it. Is it worth starting something with instability at the basis? In terms of. Or is it all?

  9. There are enough hypocrites among the poor and among the rich, that you will definitely be subjected to evaluating and depreciating the other side, no matter how wonderful you are … Why are you not interested in their inner life? Hobbies, hobbies, charity? Have you already mentally married a guy? All you described is the property of parents! So far, everything looks in principle worthy. And he himself and you yourself have already earned something? How much are you both able to earn the same and at what time? (This is the main thing for your parents to understand: “Did their offspring contact someone who just wants to use it/ it for their selfish purposes”) you are just familiar and sympathetic , attractive for each other now! And if you start communicating with him closer, will you find something unpleasant in it? Views of golden youth? How do you feel about them? Your parents will be glad to communicate with this guy? In general, you should turn to a psychologist for good … With the material well -being described by you, you are ashamed for some reason, which speaks of your self -esteem, uncertainty in yourself, which means you when communicating with him and his family and friends do not feel worthy of him, which necessarily leaves an imprint on your behavior, pose, facial expressions, speech and this is very read by others and can incorrectly interpreted with respect to you- they simply interpret all this and can react against you It is because of your behavior! I’m afraid to assume, but maybe it would be easier for you to feel better if your boyfriend was less secured than your family? You need to deal with this while you are just taking the first steps in adulthood … Good luck

  10. Comparison is very ungrateful, you always find yourself in the red sooner or later. It is better not to judge or compare, but to focus on your feelings with a poison with a person, it’s good for you or not so much, how he treats you and what you are with him. The main thing is not what a person has, but what he is. You turn out to be afraid that the guy and his family will do the same as you and others, they will evaluate you by your family’s income and despise, if it is less. Try to start looking at other things- character, education, attitude towards you, interest, emotions, thoughts, feelings. You will see that all people are alive and unique, and life will sparkle with bright colors

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