How to behave when a guy manipulates you?

It suits bziki, drops the phone, and then does not respond to messages and calls. Without understanding the situation, I try to find out, but nothing comes of it. Anger, resentment and many other unpleasant emotions wake up in me. It starts to feel sick. I asked him not to do this, but he continues. How should I react to this? Why is it becoming physically bad for me? Is this a fear of losing or excitement?

What do you think?

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  1. I asked him not to do this … They did the right thing. … But he continues. After this self -respecting girl stops the relationship. How should I react to this? Who should I? Who do you respect? Why does it get badly physically? Because you do not want you to treat you like that, but continue to cry, to inject and eat a cactus. Popularly physically, these are psychosomatic manifestations. He is sick – because you want to stop eating a cactus. This is a fear of losing or excitement? Both that and another. Perhaps you even need such a dismissive attitude towards you, this also happens. It is impossible to say exactly now, we can only assume.

  2. I agree with others. No matter how sad. It is not so important whether he manipulates. It is more important that you consider his behavior manipulation. Therefore, this is just like that for you. In general, there is a fork here. You can try to understand. Find the approach. However, do you want to look for it? Or do you think that he must change his behavior yourself?
    drops the phone,
    And then he does not answer messages and calls
    I, not understanding the situation, try to find out, but
    nothing comes out
    Anger awaken in me
    resentment and many other unpleasant emotions
    It starts to feel sick
    I asked him not to do so,
    But he continues
    Why is it becoming ill physically
    This is or excitement – the first (looking for an approach) is already or not about you at all. You describe yourself as a suffering face. It is like a source. Will he? It does not matter. You don’t think about it. This is normal. You have every right to relate to this situation. However, this deprives you of a chance to change it. By your description of the situation (exclusively) – this attitude does not suit. He just tries to provoke you to action. Become a source. Accept responsibility. He himself wants to be a victim. Or, out of habit, claims to this role.
    Presumably. However, this is no longer significant. You don’t want to. Or am I mistaken? Then correct me. How should I react to this? – They should not. This is only your personal relationship. You are not a family. As you want, and react. Except you (two) – no one will suffer from your reaction. Why does it get badly physically? Is this a fear of losing or excitement? – naturally. Both. This is stress. Because you can not cope mentally. The situation requires action from you, and you avoid it in every possible way. As far as I can judge. It starts to run. It is not possible – but to move away.

  3. I agree with others. No matter how sad. It is not so important whether he manipulates. It is more important that you consider his behavior manipulation. Therefore, this is just like that for you. In general, there is a fork here. You can try to understand. Find the approach. However, do you want to look for it? Or do you think that he must change his behavior yourself?
    drops the phone,
    And then he does not answer messages and calls
    I, not understanding the situation, try to find out, but
    nothing comes out
    Anger awaken in me
    resentment and many other unpleasant emotions
    It starts to feel sick
    I asked him not to do so,
    But he continues
    Why is it becoming ill physically
    This is or excitement – the first (looking for an approach) is already or not about you at all. You describe yourself as a suffering face. It is like a source. Will he? It does not matter. You don’t think about it. This is normal. You have every right to relate to this situation. However, this deprives you of a chance to change it. By your description of the situation (exclusively) – this attitude does not suit. He just tries to provoke you to action. Become a source. Accept responsibility. He himself wants to be a victim. Or, out of habit, claims to this role.
    Presumably. However, this is no longer significant. You don’t want to. Or am I mistaken? Then correct me. How should I react to this? – They should not. This is only your personal relationship. You are not a family. As you want, and react. Except you (two) – no one will suffer from your reaction. Why does it get badly physically? Is this a fear of losing or excitement? – naturally. Both. This is stress. Because you can not cope mentally. The situation requires action from you, and you avoid it in every possible way. As far as I can judge. It starts to run. It is not possible – but to move away.

  4. “How should I react to this?” So far, your reaction is what you are and you are observing. We have already noticed that such a reaction is not only physically unpleasant to you, but also deprives you of the opportunity to choose such behavior that in any case would bring you closer to your goal. “Why is it becoming ill physically?” Conditionally, because you feel the consequences of a chemical injury. This is almost the same as if you took the shock dose of chemicals from the test tube. Here, physical sensations are natural. “How to behave when a guy manipulates you?” You have already been offered such an option as flight. Running is a good strategy, the minus of this strategy is only that you either have to return, or it turns out to get to a situation where everything will certainly repeat. You can run away from the guy, this is not a problem, but how to run away, for example, from a selector meeting, if the leader behaves about the same as a guy? What will certainly manifest in you exactly the same reaction. Ask the leader not to do so? Naive. It won’t work. If the requests were effective, then it would be just wonderful. In addition, most people absolutely understand that it is not necessary to do this, but they do. Everyone is losing on this. Not only the one who ran away. You can, of course, run away from managers every time, but the prospect will always run away if you arrange you? Even if you repeat yourself running away: “I run because I respect myself.” If running is your choice, then you can improve your skills in this part. If endless running is not suitable for you, as a solution, then it is worth working primarily on your own reactivity. Not at the level of depicting a person who is deprived of emotional reactions, but in fact to lose reactions of this kind. As a child, I was shocked by a video where a man was sitting in something boiling, it was oil or water, and he was not hurt, even redness on the skin did not cause such a procedure. I thought that I want the same, not outside, but inside. I wanted me not to be painful emotionally even in the most terrible conditions. And I found a way that I always share with my clients. I know that Boris Georgievich Gorodkov (presented on Q) helps to solve reactivity issues. You can, of course, find ways yourself. And leave the guy for himself as a simulator. A similar approach, where the guy remains in the role of a simulator, does not oblige him to be consumerly, on the contrary, this approach and your task will solve, and the guy will automatically get a chance to become strategic, which will certainly help him throughout his life. In addition, in this way there is a chance for your relationship, in which no one hurts. I do not offer you social technologies as a solution, they are premature in your case. Premature just because the foundation in you is not necessary now. Instead of the foundation, reactivity so far. Therefore, behavioral and speech options for participating in similar interactions will give you not a very beautiful result.

  5. Typical relations of Abuez. It becomes physically bad because it is already psychosomatics when your emotional states switch to the level of physiology. And then it will only be worse. Further experiences can lead to serious diseases. Want to know more – read books like “Fear with you.” I see two exits. The first is not so emotionally perceive your relationship with a guy. To work with emotions and solving problems in relationships, contact a psychologist. The second exit is to completely interrupt all relations with a young man.

  6. Run, scurry, if you can. If you can’t, seek help. To understand the reasons – “fear or excitement”, anger, resentment, manipulation, cloudy days or something else – why? Whatever it is, these are signals that you are in a relationship in a relationship. Do not ignore, escape .PS if this is what it seems: to your attempt to terminate the relationship, a superiority will follow to return you to these relations; There may be romantic gestures or fiery assurances that everything will change, an attraction of love, repentance, awareness and promises. If this begins, you need to run twice faster and in no case do not return. Unless, of course, this is what it seems.

  7. There are girls who love to obey. Then they like it when they are manipulated. But you, apparently, are not one of those. Then there are two options. First – to behave in the same style as he. If he understands that he is so bad, the situation will correct. If he will not understand – to leave. Without regret! It will not be loss, but salvation! No need to spoil your life. Communication with a guy should bring you joy!

  8. If you do not suffer from masochism, why do you need this person? ) Stop communicating with him, do not pay attention to his antics, get distracted. Close his number. Flotting 10 days in Egypt. Live a calm, normal life. Even better – fall in love. Because it is pointless to build a future with such a person. And do not worry. Everything will be fed, polished – and with a swing it will be covered.

  9. They meet when he and she has serious intentions to enter into a legal marriage and the boundaries of his relationship during courtship are preliminarily stipulated: “Let everyone be honest and the bed is immaculate; the harlots and adulterers judges.” (Heb. 13: 4) Why are you meeting? And he? You meet to play each other’s nerves, you will not get tired of your mother’s daughters and then disperse like in the sea ships. This is good if it does not reach premarital sex, it is so fashionably called fornication today. And it’s also good if no one gets ill with any sexually transmitted disease, such as syphilis or AIDS. After which abortion or mother of a loner will not become pregnant. Just a fan of gifts! As a result, broken hearts, resentment and lacrimal scenes according to the script, all the men are the goats and all women are the same. So do not walk this Khozhina cross -road. First ripen not only one place. “Do not be deceived: God does not happen. What does man sow, then he will reap:” (Gal.6: 7) the creator of man and the founder of marriage are always right.

  10. It is clearly not enough information. It is necessary to listen to the other side. People are far from always quite adequately understanding the situation (this is not excluded by a girl) and far from always able to behave reasonably in a difficult situation (this may be with a guy if he is conscientious). It seems to me it is quite likely that this is not a manipulation, but a mutual misunderstanding, which is no less difficult for a guy. The guys do not know each other enough, incorrectly interpret signals, motives, features of each other’s behavior. For example, one can joke, the second to perceive it as an attempt to insult. The girl can be careful – the guy is perceived as importunity. It is just for example. The girl can “clear”, but not verbally make it clear that she does not like some kind of appeal. The guy did not understand, continues. The girl explodes, considering this a clear disrespect. The guy leaves, slamming the door, muttering under the nose of the “bitch”. Both are wrong, but they are not guilty, but a mutual misunderstanding. At the same time, emotional stress can interfere. Our words that we must try to understand each other are perceived as idle theorizing. “How to figure it out if she/she behaves like that?! What to understand, if so clear ?? Well, they say that it will help .. But damn it, how disgusting to answer with humility to such a clear disrespect .. No, I can not ! ” At the same time, one side can still be ready to try, but how to convey it to the second, if its standard reaction is to slap the door and not answer calls and messages? It would be optimal to go to both a good psychologist. But the guy may not be ready for this. Do not understand that the matter is a misunderstanding, and not in someone’s fault. How to act only on one side in such a situation, on your own? Well, I can only offer to study the situation more carefully, wider, more self -critical, try to understand that you yourself/you do wrong or you can do more carefully and reasonably. But in order to reach the result in this way, there may not be enough patience, endurance, life experience. Maybe psychologists will tell you a more productive strategy for the option that I suggested. I was lucky at one time. We were both ready to try to understand each other, compromise. They did not know how – but they tried. They did not reach the ideal harmony, something was kept at a distance, on failure (in some aspects that were lucky to find out) to each other’s personal space, but good relations and mutual respect were maintained. Maybe with a good family psychologist it would have turned out before and better. But I was stupid. Therefore, I know that guilt can be not only in someone’s dishonesty, but also mutual misunderstanding. (Examples, if that, not “from nature”, completely fictitious. 🙂 I would give real from my life to be inextricable).

  11. Throwing the tube, if this is not the result of a conversation in high colors – this is an Abuez, not a manipulation. It would be a manipulation if he called at the wrong time, or translated the conversation on other topics, or would determine when to communicate with his voice, and when in the chat. And you just need to leave the abusele, everyone will be better from this. Of course, there is a chance that these are just the shortcomings of character and nervous system, but then you need to go to a professional psychologist together, there are no other options.

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